I heard from the Spencer Foundation, didn’t get it this year. Big disappointment, lasted for a few days.
A friend made her goal, and inspired the rest of us to think about how we can make big dreams happen.
In sum: doubting myself, and believing in others. And feeling amazed it’s May, and so much has happened, and hasn’t, and it’s all about to change again.
Perspective, focus, from a favorite photo taken the other day. Waiting to hear this week about that fellowship I applied for last October (they said by end of April). A chai latte from Starbucks on the plaza in the sun (my first time in Barcelona). Wandering through the late spring afternoon, arms linked with my husband, wondering about what comes next for us. Reading the newspaper in Catalan and understanding it. Debating language politics while eating tapas, perched on high stools in a Basque place near our house. Now, dusk falling over the courtyard out our bedroom window, stillness falling across the bed. The muffled voices of neighbors arguing above us. Two weeks left in this apartment, this city, this space of our lives.
The weekends are a time when I get distance from my project, space from the day-to-day, hour-to-hour intensity of interviewing people and observing in schools. I try and take one day off, not touching the project at all, usually on Saturdays. Then the other day I prepare for the week, usually on Sundays. Yesterday we took the afternoon off, hiked up to Parc Güell, Gaudi’s famous park that is so popular with tourists in Barcelona. We kept going up and up until we could see the whole city spread out below us in all directions.
Looking forward to getting past the nitty-gritty everyday of my project (for now anyhow), and getting some perspective this summer. Until then, three weeks of intensive fieldwork remain. Time to go organize the Sunday to-do list…
…go! It’s April and I’m nearing the end of the Fulbright and this first phase of dissertation data collection in Barcelona. It’s challenged me hugely, forced me to get better at approaching people, imposing gracefully, and asking for things. Just three months ago I had to write down my introduction and build up the nerve to make phone calls in Catalan (which rapidly turned to Spanish). Today, I still had butterflies in my stomach at picking up the phone, but understood every word and was able to make 4 different phone calls in Catalan and set up interviews with people. This is important for understanding people working in education here, and a personal accomplishment to have learned this much Catalan in so little time. Now, the final phase of research begins. Goal: 50+ interviews by the second week of May. I’m optimistic and motivated to work hard these last weeks. The prize is near!
**Credit goes to my husband for these great pictures, taken on a short vacation to Italy last weekend.**
See you soon, I hope to start posting more often again!
I pick up the phone and call again, the fourth time I’ve tried to reach these people. I call three more numbers and it rings and rings. The next morning, I am doing an interview across town, and I run into someone from another office, set up an interview. When I’m doing these interviews now, I ask people for recommendations of who else to talk to, and people make suggestions that lead places, to new appointments. After months of struggling to meet people and explain my project, it’s a revelation to have the pieces coming together so easily.
The truth is, one of the most unexpectedly challenging parts of this Fulbright year has been making connections and gaining access to schools where I could do my research. I knew it would be difficult, but never imagined just how hard. Just figuring out who to talk to, which offices to visit, where to call, took days. And then getting over my own nervousness took time too, getting better at cold calling places, explaining myself and my project, and making apointments with people.
I’ve been thinking about writing up a piece on gaining access as a graduate, Fulbright or other researcher. I’ve learned a few things in these months that could be helpful for others. Indeed, as I think about it more, really anyone doing a creative, self-promoted project has to go through this rite of passage of making themselves known, talking to a lot of people, getting enough buy-in that people will talk to you. Maybe the things I’ve learned could help others.
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What have been your experiences with gaining access or making connections? How long have you found it takes in a new place? What advice would you give for people trying to figure it out for the first time?
This year in my work is about data collection. Gathering the stories, interviews, statistics, fieldnotes, curriculum that I will analyze for my dissertation. It’s hard to imagine what all of this will look like when finished. The time here in Barcelona has been a very good start on it though, and it’s getting better by the day, as I gain confidence and access to schools. And who knows, maybe between now and May I’ll finish, and I can make new goals for the rest of 2010. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?!
Missing conversations with friends over coffee today. An hour here or there, fellow Ph.D. students or other smart friends, coffees are a regular way to get together back home. This was a big way I connected with friends at Berkeley, and we always talked about our work, school, or just life. I’ve had it a few times here, but not much yet. I think I’ll seek out more people to talk with over coffee in Barcelona.
The application’s in! So it’s time to laugh at graduate work a little. Really, doing a Ph.D. is probably something like parenthood. You join this club, and suddenly all these things that used to make no sense feel like second nature. The most important thing? The dissertation. So I got a good laugh at these guys. And since I’ve put off having a family because of my work, I laughed at this comic too.
Now that I’m actually in Spain, starting my research, the whole process is starting to make sense and I feel like what I’m doing is worthwhile more often than not. But really, the amount of self-doubt and wallowing that happens in a Ph.D. program is astounding. Which is why a good laugh can really help things.
Where have you found a good laugh recently? While in Spain I’m missing my old standby of the Daily Show…
A week ago I met with a professor here who’s helping me with my fieldwork, and we had an in-depth, lively discussion about my project. We spoke in English and Spanish, and debated about which direction my research could take. He really took up my questions, pushed my thinking, gave me new ideas. These notes are from that conversation, he drew and wrote as he talked. The conversation was really valuable; too bad I can’t make sense of the notes or even tell what language they’re in!
Which of the following makes a better title?
Incorporating the Children of Immigrants in School: A Comparative Study of Policy and Social Belonging in Spain
or
Integrating the Children of Immigrants in Spain: A Comparative Study of School Policy and Social Belonging
or
Integrating the Children of Immigrants in School: Policy and Social Belonging in Spain
