Past and Future
I have a habit of writing in notebooks, something I in part picked up from my dear childhood friend who now lives in Vermont. They sit on my desk upstairs, the place I so often resist spending time working. Today I picked one up and read what I wrote from 2 years ago, when I was just gearing up to apply to Berkeley for graduate school.
It’s incredible how much I convince myself things have changed on a daily basis, yet when I get down to the core of it, little has changed. The same things satisfied me about my job. The same things left me dissatisfied.
Perhaps this is because my attention has not been on the core of myself, my dreams, my ambitions. What is that core? What’s driven me to where I am now? Where do I want to go from here? Only by identifying this can I work towards my dreams every day. Otherwise, what am I working towards anyhow?
Yes, it’s November, it’s fall, it’s the second year of my Ph.D. program, and it’s time to take stock.